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Personal Blog
My Thoughts on AI in Writing
Artificial intelligence used to be the stuff of science-fiction. Whenever we heard those words, or even came across any mention of “AI,” we imagined a utopian world where sentient robots carried out tedious or even dangerous tasks while humans were able to pursue more meaningful paths.
However, movies, books, and video games blasted us with stories of the dangers of AI. Some people worried that computers gaining sentience would lead to our downfall, whether it’s via a supercomputer launching every nuclear missile across the world, or a robotic army enslaving the human race.
Well, it’s now 2025 and fortunately nothing of the sort has happened, despite just how much artificial intelligence has advanced in recent years. That being said, there are concerns regarding how “intelligent” artificial intelligence has become, especially in the realm of art.
Over the past few years, many AI-backed language learning models (LLMs) have emerged, from OpenAI’s ChatGPT, to Google’s Gemini. These programs have made their way into various assets, from summarizing social media comment sections, to providing condensed search results on popular search engines.
Plenty of other companies have utilized AI and LLMs into their business models. AI can be used to develop full sales strategies, generate pages of written copy, analyze marketing analytics, and more. AI is also able to create images and entire videos with sound! From a certain point-of-view, it’s incredible to see how far we’ve come technology-wise. But many people, including myself, are wary and apprehensive about what this means for the future.
There is a large conversation to be had about AI replacing a large portion of the human workforce. Certain programs can drive taxis, sort and deliver packages, and even analyze medical x-rays. But since I am a “creator,” I want to specifically discuss AI in the art world, specifically AI in writing.
Admittedly, I use AI (ChatGPT specifically) for certain tasks. I’ve used it to help explain a concept to me that I had trouble understanding, I’m using it to develop a social media marketing plan for an upcoming book launch, and I’ve used it to assist with managing a budget. There’s one really cool feature in one of my school textbooks where AI can take a chunk of text and generate a quick little refresher quiz to assess how well I know the material. In these aspects, I think AI is a fantastic tool.
But there are problems when it comes to writing. I once tried having AI edit and critique a short story I wrote. It gave some positive feedback and said there were no edits to be made. This may be obvious, but it felt very… disingenuous. Many LLMs are defaulted to giving “positive” responses unless the user specifically configures them to be more “fair” or “unbiased.” At the end of the day, the user has control over how the AI reacts, which, to me, means it’s not really artificial intelligence (again, I’m specifically referring to commercially-available AI programs like ChatGPT or Gemini).
I sent the short story to several beta readers who also enjoyed it, and I found myself more welcoming of their feedback because it felt genuine and “real.” From then on, I refused to use AI in my writing endeavors – it strictly remained a tool to help me out with other tedious tasks.
As I’ve discovered, not every writer shares the same perspective as me. I’m part of several writer groups on Facebook and have seen so many authors who stated they are using AI to churn out their books from now on. They feed samples of their writing into an LLM, and then they’re able to produce stories in minutes, like a cheaper, faster ghostwriter. They then take it a step further and have AI generate cover images to be used for their books. I actually left one group I had been part of for almost a decade because the group founders/admins actually encouraged the use of AI to rapid release books.
I hate to sound like a pretentious cynic (like people who talk about how the Fast and Furious movies are “ruining cinema”), but I have to say it: using AI in this manner is destroying art in so many ways.
First, AI imagery and content are not original. These programs use existing content from the internet to produce their material. This is tantamount to plagiarism in my eyes. Some LLMs have content policies in place to minimize IP violations, but there are easy workarounds if someone were committed enough. There was recently a scandal about an indie author who had an LLM rewrite a section of their book in the style of another more prolific author (I am not going to link it because I do not want to draw attention to their books).
Next, and this may sound a little cheesy, AI content is soulless. I know I am not alone in this, but it’s incredibly easy to spot generated written content. If it’s meant to be an informative article or blog post, then I don’t mind the AI as long as the information is correct (I promise I am not using AI for this post). However, if I’m reading a book or an editorial column and I get a whiff of AI, then I stop right there. Don’t get me started on how obvious AI photos and videos are (though, they are still an impressive display of the advanced technology so I have to give some credit).
Another point is regarding rapid releases. Personally, I can’t do rapid releases of my books. I just don’t have that kind of drive. Other authors are able to churn out high-quality books by the boat-load. Meanwhile, I’ve been working on the third chapter in The Storyworld Saga for close to a decade.
But using AI to do rapid releases doesn’t sit well with me. AI content is drivel, but flooding the market with said drivel only hurts authors. Self-publishing already gets a bad reputation because it allows people to push their work out into the world with ease. This is great for people who struggled to get an agent (like myself), but then you get plenty of poorly written, poorly edited books on the market that frustrate readers and make them hesitant to choose indie authors in the future. In my opinion, using AI to fully write and edit books will only contribute to that growing problem.
Finally, and this may sound a little gatekeep-y, but it’s based on personal experiences: AI is making people respect creators less.
I did a book event about a year or two ago and had someone walk by and say something along the lines of, “Why would I buy a book when I can just use AI to make one?” I tried to argue that it won’t be as special and he kinda chuckled and walked away (thankfully, because I did not feel like dealing with that). I saw an Instagram reel of a video (I can’t remember what it was about) but when I read the comments, there were plenty of parents talking about how they no longer buy children’s books because they can simply ask ChatGPT to write a story for them in seconds.
Writing a story, drawing a picture, playing a song – any type of art requires two things: talent and passion. AI and LLMs lack both of those factors, and they’ll never develop them, no matter how advanced they become (I don’t care what Steven Spielberg tells us).
All these programs do is produce content, and art is not content. It hurts to see people treat it as such. We are not just “sitting around, doodling” or “writing our little fairy tales.” We are working hard, sometimes spending hours late into the night, to create something that we hope will make an impact on the world. Sure, it’d be nice to make a living from it, but 99.999999% of creators are creating art not just because they want money, but because they want to express an idea to the world and evoke a genuine feeling from their audience.
As far as I’m concerned, AI will never be able to do that.
Feeling Trapped: What Is Agoraphobia?
I’ve been pretty open about my anxiety over the past several years. All my close friends and family know I deal with it, and even a majority of my readers know about it too (I mean, I wrote an entire book about it). But I don’t think I’ve ever really spoken about my experience with diagnosed agoraphobia (or as I call it, anxiety’s annoying little brother). So I’m writing this post to shed some light on it.
I’m sure a lot of people have heard about agoraphobia, but unless you’ve experienced it, have studied it, or know someone with it, you may not fully understand. When I’ve mentioned it to people in the past, they assume it means I’m afraid of crowds. That’s like the Cliff’s Notes explanation. It’s an okay general overview, but that’s not all that it is. There’s more depth to it.
Let me use an example (because that’s my favorite way to explain things).
I do not like flying. I’ve flown several times in my life, from one-hour domestic flights, to 9-hour transatlantic journeys. If possible, I try to avoid flying. Many people automatically assume that I don’t like flying because I’m afraid of things like turbulence or heights (yeah, I’m not a fan of heights, but that’s not my main concern on a plane). The real issue comes down to feeling “trapped” on a plane.
I’ve driven from Pennsylvania to North Carolina twice. That’s like a 10-hour drive. But I would take that over flying for the same length of time because I don’t feel trapped. If I don’t feel well in the car, I can always pull over. You can’t do that on a plane. You can’t even really do that if you’re taking a train or bus either (I guess technically you could if you put up enough stink, but I digress). The point is you can’t “pause” on a plane trip. Hence the feeling of being trapped.
Another example: in my first semester of college, I had a class with a very strict teacher. He forbade anyone from leaving class at all, even for the bathroom (he stated it was a distraction). It was an hour-long class, which doesn’t seem long, but being told you can’t leave at all is a little uncomfortable. I regularly got mini anxiety attacks in that class because, once again, I felt trapped.
Let’s go with another example that takes a different route. My agoraphobia became really severe the summer before my final year at college. I could barely leave my house without having a panic attack. I couldn’t even go to the doctor for an emergency visit about my anxiety because I was afraid to leave the safe space of my home.
Okay, one more example. In my younger days as a bachelor, when I started dating, I was very cautious about where I went on dates. I never took anyone to dinner because I once again felt trapped in the middle of so many people. I also had an issue of getting anxiety attacks randomly while eating, which only exacerbated them, so restaurant dates were out of the question.
The only place I ever really took dates was to the movies, and I always made sure we sat on the edge of the row so, if I were to start feeling anxious, I could go walk outside and do my anxiety-fighting routine (I’ll explain shortly) with minimal disturbance.
Are you starting to see a pattern?
Agoraphobia has an interesting linguistic origin. An agora was a central meeting place/market in Ancient Greece. And we all know how phobia essentially means “fear.” So we have a fear of the marketplace. By the way, I was even afraid to visit the grocery store during my severe agoraphobic phase.
When I have an anxiety attack, I have a specific routine I follow to help combat it. It mainly involves pacing and catching my breath. I can do that safely in the confines of my own home, but if I get an attack in public, there’s very little chance I can do that. I certainly couldn’t pace in that class I mentioned. Or on a plane. But if I’m in control of my environment, like when I’m driving, I’m all good because I can pull over. I can address my anxiety without issue.
Another component of my agoraphobia is almost a fear of “what ifs.” When I have an anxiety attack, I’m worried about what if I pass out. I don’t want to faint in public because A) it’s embarrassing, B) I’m not sure how people would react (like if they would help me or ignore me). Since my anxiety attacks could happen at random times, I was afraid of being outside of my home due to my fear of fainting in public. This almost aligns with the slight misconception that agoraphobia is simply a “fear of crowds.”
We come back to my main point: the fear of feeling trapped, not just a fear of crowds.
There are many ways to treat agoraphobia, such as cognitive behavior therapy, exposure therapy, support groups, and simple breathing techniques. Unfortunately, none of those worked for me as my agoraphobia progressed and became more severe. In my instance, I had to turn to medicine (and I don’t regret it one bit). Nowadays, I may have slight episodes where I feel anxious in a scenario where I’m “trapped,” but it no longer impairs my life as much as it did in the past.
I primarily wrote this article to be informative since I see so many people unfamiliar with agoraphobia. Hopefully this will answer questions and make readers better understand how my mind works.
For any readers dealing with agoraphobia, I don’t have a magic solution that will definitely work for everyone because we’re all so different. What I do want to tell you is these two things:
- If you suspect you have agoraphobia, don’t feel bad or embarrassed about the fact. You’re not alone. There are plenty of other people out there who have conquered this fear, or are at least able to manage it.
- Please seek professional help if you suspect you have agoraphobia. There is no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone, but speaking with someone with extensive knowledge and/or experience in agoraphobia (and anxiety in general) can potentially put you on the right path to treatment.
I’m Afraid of Making Mistakes; I Wish I Was Perfect
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.
When I was six years old, I said a bad word in class and had to go to the principal’s office.
When I was eight, I accidentally threw a toy at a friend’s head… hard.
At 17, I (lightly) damaged my first car because I was trying to be funny around my friends.
At the age of 21, I rushed to publish my first book without properly editing it.
When I was 30, I made a friend cry because of a mean-spirited joke.
And then, whenI was 34 (two weeks ago). I made a logistical mistake during one of my volunteer assignments.
This is just the tip of the iceberg of the mistakes I’ve made in my life. I know, I know: everyone makes mistakes. I even wrote a children’s book about it. Whenever people ask what inspired me to write We All Make Mistakes, I say it’s because I made a lot of mistakes growing up and I wanted to tell children that it’s okay. I say, “This is the book I wish I had as a child.” But the truth is that it’s also the book I need in adulthood. Unfortunately, as much I tell people that them making mistakes is okay, I can’t seem to convince myself.
A Life of Making Mistakes
I make A LOT of mistakes. I make them in my professional life and in my personal life. There are some mistakes that hurt my friends and some that hurt my family. There are small mistakes, like forgetting a bill payment, and then there are big ones, like forgetting a friend’s birthday.
The thought of making mistakes terrifies me, especially when these mistakes can potentially hurt someone. I’ve talked with my therapist, and she helped me realize that my fear of mistakes comes from my desire to achieve perfection, which is impossible for any human. So why do I hold myself to such standards to be infallible?
I look around and see others making mistakes all the time. It’s a part of life. But it looks like these other people don’t let these mistakes affect their lives as much as mine do. I know someone who accidentally ran a stop sign and caused a minor accident. There’s someone else who lost her company tens of thousands of dollars because she mis-typed a line in a purchase order. I know another person whose child hurt himself climbing a tree because her back was turned for a few moments.
When I spoke with these friends about their mistakes, I reassured them that it was all okay. I told them that nobody’s perfect. I reminded them how life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You’re going to make mistakes as you learn.
Now why can’t I reassure myself the same way?
Once again, I need to reflect on something I learned in therapy: we should talk to ourselves the way we would talk to a close friend. Most of the time, when someone close to me makes a mistake, I try to show compassion and reassure them. Very, very rarely will I give them grief for doing something wrong.
But when it comes to my own mistakes, I take the opposite approach. I make a mistake and I think it’s the end of the world. I dwell on the mistake and make a silent wish that I could turn back the clock and undo it. More than 17 years ago, I went on a date and said something incredibly stupid that hurt my date’s feelings. I STILL occasionally think back on it and wish I could take it back. Or I wish I could travel back and slap 17-year-old me across the face.
Why Can’t We Let Mistakes Go?
I’m not exactly sure why I can’t forgive myself for making mistakes. Aside from my severe anxiety and depression, it could be a variety of other reasons as well. Maybe it’s because I’ve made several mistakes in the past that people constantly have to bring back up. I made a minor mistake at work back in 2019 and someone kept reminding me of it instead of moving past it. An ex used to frequently bring up my mistakes despite how much I disliked it. It’s pretty hard to forgive yourself for mistakes (no matter how small) if someone keeps reminding you of them.
Another reason why some people (or at least I) have difficulty overcoming mistakes is possibly as a form of protection. By constantly thinking about the mistakes in our past, we believe we can avoid making future mistakes. We’re extra careful in what we say and do. We hesitate to do something out of fear. Our overthinking of past mistakes has us always being super-critical of our own actions. While this can help us be more considerate of what we say and do, it can come at the cost of our own mental well-being by forcing us to think that everything we do is wrong.
Afraid to Experience Life
I was slightly relieved when I learned I’m not the only person who has trouble letting go of their own errors. Apparently, a lot of people strive for perfection and wish they didn’t make mistakes. While I feel better knowing it’s not just me, it’s sad that this inability to overcome mistakes keeps people from properly living their lives.
My mistakes definitely make me afraid to do things. There was a brief moment a few years ago when I considered going back to school for nursing. But I was terrified of being responsible for another person’s health and well-being. The last thing I want to do is find out I made a mistake that could potentially kill someone.
I decided about two years ago that I would probably never have children because I’m afraid of making mistakes while raising them. Plenty of people have tried to make me reconsider by claiming that EVERYONE makes mistakes as a parent. I’m still hesitant about the thought of being a father. Maybe my mind will change in the future, if I can learn to forgive myself for making mistakes. As of now, it doesn’t seem to be in the cards.
There have been countless times (especially this past year) where I’ve wanted to quit the whole “author” thing. I want to spread positive and inspirational messages with my books, but I think that, with all the mistakes I’ve made, I’m not the ideal role model for children. Many times, I’ve woken up thinking about how I should just clear out my inventory and live a non-writer life.
In short: I have a bad habit of letting my mistakes (instead of my accomplishments or better qualities) define me. And it pains me to see the same thing happen to others.
Advice for Others
I wish I had some meaningful wisdom to grant to anyone who reads this blog. I want to tell you that making mistakes is okay; that in the grand scheme of things, some tiny error you’ve made is not a big deal. After all, mistakes are a normal part of life. All of this is 100% true, but I’m not sure how much value it holds coming from someone who can’t accept their own advice.
One piece of advice that I can offer is regarding where you go when you want assistance with moving past your mistakes. You need to be careful, since there are some great resources out there, and there are some terrible ones as well.
I’ve spent hours Googling different tips for forgiving yourself, overcoming mistakes, etc. What I’ve learned is that it’s a lot like when you Google your symptoms when you’re feeling sick: the worst results will be the most prominent.
When I search for tips, I tend to get results from forums full of negativity. Here’s how it goes: someone will ask for guidance on forgiving yourself for mistakes, and responses will come from people saying that some shouldn’t be forgiven, especially if the person refuses to learn from them.
I’m not denying there are people out there who intentionally do harmful things and write them off as mistakes to avoid accountability. For a while, I actually thought I was unintentionally doing that myself:
If you couldn’t tell already, I am very open about my anxiety and my fear of making mistakes. A certain person (someone whom I once greatly respected) told me that I am only open about it so that people will “go easy on me” when I do make a mistake. He also told me it was “unacceptable” when I got upset over making an actual mistake.
At the time, I thought what he said was right: maybe I only get so upset about making mistakes because I’m subconsciously trying to have people feel sorry for me so that I don’t get in trouble. So now, not only was I afraid of making mistakes, but I was afraid of expressing my fear of making mistakes or my unhappiness after I’ve made a mistake. And people wonder why I’m an anxious mess…
So what’s the point of all this rambling? I want to remind people that a big part of moving past your mistakes is to ultimately be kind to yourself, no matter how hard it may be. While you can have a loving family and a supportive group of friends, you still need to treat yourself with compassion and grace.
Again, I realize it’s odd for someone like me who is unable to forgive himself to give that kind of advice to others, but I hope that someone out there can find value in my words. We deserve to be happy, no matter how many mistakes we make.
Anxiety in the Time of Coronavirus
Things are worrisome right now.
We’re facing a pandemic; a pandemic that’s taken thousands of lives, shut down businesses, and forced people to stay at homs. Yes, we faced worse crises in the past, but that doesn’t mean we have to ignore what’s happening right now. The Coronavirus is a cause for concern, and there’s no shame in having certain feelings about it.
Fear.
Apprehension.
Anger.
Unsureness.
Anxiety.
As someone who was already living in a near-constant state of anxiety, this is business as usual.
(more…)Taking a Big Risk: How I Started My Career in Writing
This isn’t one of my usual blog posts where I offer my sage advice (although, you may learn a thing or two by the end of it). This will be a more personal post where I discuss how exactly I dove into the world of writing. I briefly discussed how to make a career in writing, but I didn’t go in-depth on my own journey. I feel like I owe it to my readers (all four of you) to explain myself. After all, if you’re going to take writing advice from a stranger on the Internet, you want to at least know their experience, right?
(more…)Dealing with Anxiety: How I Learned to Cope
**I apologize in advance to my readers who were expecting a blog about writing or publishing. While this is different than my usual blogs, I feel like anxiety is a topic that needs addressing since it’s close to my heart and worth a discussion.**
Anxiety sucks. Period. There’s no reason to sugar-coat it. Anxiety is a disease (yes, a disease) that plagues almost every single person, and while some have easily overcome it a good workout or a walk in the woods, there are others, such as myself, who have to deal with it everyday. And unfortunately, there are some who have a harder time of coping than others.
(more…)Overcoming Self-Doubt
Does your self-doubt lead to you writing page after page, and then going back and deleting all your work? Do you refuse to let anyone read your writing because you’re afraid of a negative reaction? Do you just think you’re a bad writer overall?
You’re not alone.
My Road to Writing
Writing has always been a passion of mine. Actually, let me be more specific. Creating stories has always been a passion of mine. Ever since I was a kid, I loved to tell stories. There was just something about creating a vivid tale of adventure and wonder that really fascinated me.
(more…)
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